The Reason You Can’t Change.

Do you love yourself?

I realize that question may imply some sort of reference to one of Justin Bieber’s songs but trust me that’s not my aim!

But it’s a very important question to ask.

Can you truly look at yourself in the mirror, recognizing your flaws, strengths, weird quirks, facial features, body, habits, and confidently and lovingly say “I love you”?

Because people always talk about changing themselves (myself included). Be it changing for the better or improving oneself. We say things like:

“I need to change my sleeping patterns”.
“I want to change and stop eating junk food”.
“I really need to change and be more sensitive towards my spouse”.

And that’s good. It’s good to want change that will bring about a better quality of life. That’s the kind of change that transforms lives, saves marriages and inspires hope in others.

But the only way for change to truly happen, is if we accept ourselves.

I know it sounds ironic because if we accept and love ourselves for who we are then we wouldn’t want to change right?

That’s a fair argument but the thing is, when we truly love and accept ourselves, our bad habits become even more obvious.

We become even more aware of them because we can recognize how harmful they are to us and to others around us. This is what makes us want to change for the better and that’s good. Striving for change and progress is always good as long as it’s for the better and it’s done in a healthy way.

That’s what self-acceptance does to you and what loving yourself means.

But if we can’t love and accept ourselves first, trying to change is going to be so much harder. It’s not impossible but it’s harder.

So love yourself, strive for growth, surround yourself with positivity and you’ll be heading in the right direction towards lasting change.

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4 thoughts on “The Reason You Can’t Change.

  1. Deep thoughts. When we people leave our bad habits (or bad friends or bad job, or other harmful things), and get better instead, it will change our inner self at the same time, because positive changes in life will give a new fresh start, feelings of purity and hope and joyful expectations of new happiness. Words ‘chance’ and ‘change’ are almost similar words in English and their meanings are connected together.

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  2. In other words, self-acceptance is a way to strengthen your internal motivation to change? I’ve never thought about it like that.

    Internal motivation is my favorite route because I’ve found that external motivation doesn’t last very long.

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    1. Yes in my case it has been that way. The drive to change stems from the fact that I love and respect myself too much to continue allowing the bad stuff and habits to affect my life negatively.

      That’s essentially what started me on my self-improvement journey. Because why settle when you can actively improve your life!

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